November 8, 2010

my cv – in brief

Filed under: just whinging,politics,sport,the bleedin' obvious — anne thrope (miss) @ 3:20 pm

since i am offended by embroidered or exaggerated resumes i shall keep mine short and factual which i trust the reader will appreciate.

1983: born in the wagon of a travellin show.

i was an unremarkable child. though i’m told i did unnerve the midwife slightly. the story goes that whilst she was preparing to smack my arse i emerged reciting “pi = 3.14159265”.

apparently i similarly irritated my father who when i was just 9 days old, foolishly asked me what i would like for breakfast to which i replied “3.14159265 pies”. he never spoke to me after that.

happily, life took a turn for the better when (more…)

July 13, 2010

excuse my absence

Filed under: just whinging,sap of the month,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 4:17 pm

okay, so i’ve been sleeping on the job: what do you want me to do, take my personal property and leave the building? ;-(

alas and alack, it occurs to me that the duration of my silence has coincided almost precisely with that of the world cup.

well somebody’s granny (perhaps even mine) once told me “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all”; so with england’s performance in mind i have taken that advice.

and i propose to keep it that way rather than think about it and risk being sick on my shoes.

get a grip losers.

May 3, 2010

higgins framed?

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:59 am

okay let’s choose our words carefully here.

damning video footage hit tv screens today which purported to show baby-faced scottish snooker genius john higgins negotiating his price for losing four frames of snooker in forthcoming games.

the revelations, published by britain’s news of the world paper, if proven to be true, whilst not exactly mould-breaking in the history of snooker would surely have career-ending implications for the genial “wizard of wishaw”.

let’s hope that these deeply unsavoury allegations are proved on thorough investigation to be unfounded.

indeed higgins, snooker’s world-ranked number one and 2009 world champion and his manager pat mooney who was also present at the meeting with ukranian “businessmen” where the alleged frame-fixing deal was recorded have issued strong and it has to be said not entirely implausible denials of any wrongdoing.

in a nutshell, they feared for their personal safety. who could blame them?

still the whole thing neither looks or smells good to me but let’s remember that at this time these are no more than untested allegations.

nonetheless, the question remains: why were they there in the first place?

April 30, 2010

football simulation — latest

Filed under: doggerel,just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 12:59 pm

the striker cuts through our defence,
what’s happened to their common-sense.
if only we had played a sweeper
it’s goodnight if he beats the keeper

who’s number one, but now looks bigger,
close-up, a bloody scary figure.
“to hell with getting smacked again,
i’ll take a dive and get a ‘pen’.”

he trails a leg, he waves a bit,
then falls down like a sack of shit.
see how he writhes, and looks distressed,
how sad! the ref is unimpressed.

just waves him up, and gives a warning.
(the linesman can’t stop himself yawning)
and still he’s asking for the ‘pen’
“i’ll likely never walk again!”

and though he pleads for the award,
the arbiter is getting bored.

oh no, a card is coming out,
he’s gob-smacked! what’s all that about?
the stand arises in ovation,
he’s been sent off for simulation.

not before time muppet. and don’t come back neither.

April 13, 2010

alex ferguson for letting tevez go — dumb

Filed under: sap of the year,sport,the bleedin' obvious — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:05 am

let’s face it, wayne rooney is the best footballer in britain; bar none. he could walk it. but he wouldn’t. see where i’m going here?

although he may not be the ultimate by any single measurement, as a package of skill, commitment, awareness, speed, strength, determination and a sheer willingness to go the extra mile, rooney is peerless.

it goes without saying, therefore that his value to manchester united goes beyond money. a player of his stature is impossible to replace, like-for-like.

so we’re all agreed: rooney’s a genius! but let’s try to remember that he’s also human. so, what do we do when wayne goes lame?

well because players like him don’t grow on trees to go out and find one is tricky to say the least: to say nothing about the cost and difficulty of liberating them from their existing obligations. at short order it’s impossible, not to mention outlawed by the league.

which brings us to the thorny subject of tevez.

if tevez did not want to play for man u, and who wouldn’t, i’ll pass my fags round! and as, effectively, a free agent it would surely have been well within the means, even of the glazer-strapped regime to have retained his invaluable services.

for the benefit of the slow-of-wit (not you surely?) i simply pose the question:-

what are manchester united short of for the remaining five games of the season?

who said carlos tevez? i’m with you!

over ‘ere son – on me head πŸ™‚

September 10, 2009

engerlernd qualify for 2010 world cup finals

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 4:34 pm

okay, so we qualify for 2010 world cup finals. engerlernd, engerlernd, engerlernd! that’s what i say.

and we qualified without dropping a single point, 24 from 8, and with two matches to spare. now i grant you we emerged unscathed from a bunch of no-marks who would have struggled against our womens team but let’s not be churlish. a win is a win is a win.

in all fairness, who could fault the team’s record under the enigmatic Fabio Capello. i grant you the great man’s english is practically impenetrable to the native speaker but we don’t pay him to give lessons in elocution, now do we? and as fortune would have it our trusty squad, linguists to a man, seem to have understood which way the maestro wants them to kick it.

but i must concede i’m slightly less bullish about the finals next year, when, fresh (knackered surely) from the exertions (we are talking about football here, aren’t we? oh go on then let’s pretend it’s hard work for another minute otherwise i won’t know what else to write) of the 2009-10 domestic season our heroes will find themselves sweating in the heat of the dark continent as the gloves come off against the likes of italy, brazil, spain and germany.

still we can take comfort from the thought that most of the top players we hope to face in the later stages of the competition will have had similar build-ups to our own players, if only because most of them play their club football in the english premiership!

i’m almost sure there’s a pearl of wisdom glistening somewhere in this pile of drivel but, do you know, i just can’t be arsed to dig it out.

make an effort yourself, for once, muppet. πŸ˜‰

August 29, 2009

arsene (i did not see it) wenger

Filed under: just whinging,sport,the bleedin' obvious — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:16 am

following the football authorities’ entirely reasonable response to the blatant cheating of his player eduardo this week, arsene (i did not see it) wenger warns us that the introduction of tv reviews of play would be opening a dangerous door.

where to, froggie. somewhere where you would finally have “to see it” kicking and screaming if necessary?

i refer readers who have the honesty to “see it” to my earlier doggerel on the sickening subject of simulation in football.

they, like me are happy to call it cheating. and no doubt some rather-less polite names.

bonnet de douche mes amies.

August 25, 2009

dramatic end to ashes series

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 1:52 am

so, the all-conquering aussies waltz off back to matilda clutching the coveted ashes trophy. all hail to the mighty ones, for they truly are the kings of the world!

what? oh shit, it was all a bad dream. in fact, after a series of lack-lustre test performances, these colonial ne’er-do-wells have been rightfully dispatched by their english betters back to the antipodes, there to ponder on the copious shortcomings which have led them to eat their words, unbarbied. very tasteless i’m sure.

as i recall, i remarked to a less-astute observer (are there any others?) midway through that magnificent final day “ponting has the look of a man who knows the game is up”.

to be fair to the little snapper, albeit through gritted-teeth (and on this occasion agreably battered lips) ponting took defeat like a man, and the great sportsman that he is. (at least i assume that’s what he did. the batting legend speaks at such a prodigious rate that i suspect, probably due to the poor health service development in his home country he was vaccinated with a sewing machine needle).

but i digress.

to tell the truth, in circumstances where common-sense would have seen more-educated nations repairing to their bungalows for extended bouts of wound-licking, these plucky if ill-advised, post botany bay, convict-bred also-rans have it seems, made the foolhardy decision to remain in the uk with only the prospect of further ignominious defeats in the upcoming one day series.

one has to admire their pluck, if not their intellect!

cheer-up diggers!

see ya! wouldn’t wanna be ya πŸ˜‰

July 22, 2009

england crush aussies – 2nd ashes test

Filed under: brevity,just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 1:28 am

what is it with this poxy england test side? they amass a huge lead and foolishly fail to enforce the follow-on. what the hell’s that about?

oh but they go on and arse this lack-lustre opposition from down-under. down-and-out more like.

bring’em on for the third test! where’s your bowlers you bunch of girls? left ’em all back in ramsey street? easy street more like. πŸ˜‰

ship out diggers, the dingoes are pissin’ on your swag.

(none intended, obviously)


July 16, 2009

freddie flintoff retirement shock

Filed under: brevity,just whinging,sport,the bleedin' obvious — anne thrope (miss) @ 1:20 am

well, swipe me, that’s one out of the blue!

could somerrdy point me tooow the bar twenty20 wages?

ayythankyoo. πŸ˜‰

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