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i’ve had another one of my top marketing ideas!

wacko jacko snackos! a crunchy, tangy nacho-type snackette, baked to a rich golden brown on one side but pale-and-interesting on the other. just the thing for sad americans who’ll buy any old rubbish if you push their buttons in the right order, in their hour of need.

and for the impoverished uk fizzy drink market we surely need go no further than “jacko – the king of pop”, a deceptively tempting cola which actually tastes like warm windolene and turns white when you throw it up!

see, genius, without even trying!

but what’s that rumble in the distance? whoa it’s getting closer.

no worries it’s just the “jackson estate” dropping by to register an interest and collect it’s 15%, purely for the benefit of the princely kids you understand. not a bean for the distraught family or the posse of ambulance chasers who could smell a greenback at a thousand yards in a hurricane. hell no!

my mistake then.

shamone!

i’ve been absent again. go on, correct me! more! more!

but seriously ..ish i’ve been resisting all this brown bashing as much as i could. i mean, it’s so tempting it hurts, but it’s also what’s often described as “like shooting fish in a barrel”. where’s the achievement? it’s just too easy!

a less generous individual might say “never give a bum an even break”. for me though, this loser is worth less of my time and attention as every day passes. he spent his life yearning for this plum job and with characteristic aplomb, crow-barred it into his grasp just when it was turning to shit. but we’ve done this gargoyle to hell and and back.

much more interesting is surely gorgeous peter mandelson. you could stab this poppet through the heart with a graveyard-full of crosses every night of the week and he’d still fetch-up hale and hearty next morning assuring you that white, though possibly not entirely black is most certainly a deep charcoal grey.

and why wouldn’t you believe him? he’s had more come-backs than lazarus (mark lawrenson, match of the day, every week).

enough already, i’m off to the local elections count. i can’t wait.