beware of greeks negotiating in bad faith with the charming angela and nicholas? surely not?
(can’t be bothered to crowbar-in olive branches or wooden horses, sozz) anyway here’s those proposed referendum options in full:-
1. bail out
2. bale out
wake me when it’s over 
okay, let me riddle you a riddle.
how many ill-advised trips does it take to get from imbruglia to imbroglio?
wotjamean any clues? oh alright then
imbruglia: an antipodean popette/looker
imbroglio: a confused or perplexing political or interpersonal situation
obviously there’s no correct answer (yet) but give yourself a point if you said anywhere between 18 and 40.
E=mc² ? get a bloody grip man.
despite my unimpeachable scientific credentials i have long resisted the temptation to expose this so-called “Special theory of Relativity” as the ill-thought-out tarradiddle it really is.
finally, it seems, the intellectual elite demands no less and reluctantly i oblige.
it seems that a few jonny-come-lateleys at cern are finally getting the picture. big al screwed-up big-time and got it all badly wrong!
some, even some better qualified than i, perish the thought, have been heard to suggest that e might in fact be more likely to equal the cube root of my auntie maggie’s cat’s arse.
not so special now is it, big boy? anyhow, nobody likes a smart-arse. oh, and get a hair cut.
every day’s a schoolday. 
distressing reports are emerging from news international in london where a tearful rebekah (sic) brooks addressed the gathered, should that be gobsmacked news of the world staff to announce, not her resignation, but their’s.
that’s all folks. david brent has left the building.
newsnight’s maitlis; what a poppet,
but what’s that dress sense all about? just stop it!
though oft in cold and winter gloom her
scripts suggest a sense of humour.
but the trick which seems to most enamour her
is pointing her left shoulder towards the camera.
what’s not to like about emily maitlis?
despite appearing almost weightless,
she very rarely fails to please
especially when she sits at 45 degrees.
and so to china where doubtless for the approval of uk and international audiences, prime minister david cameron raised the twin perennial bugbears, democracy and human rights during his trade visit to beijing, earlier today.
i understand that, consistent with the prc’s stock response whenever these matters are raised, the pm was given no assurances by either the chinese president or premier that any such reforms are under consideration, let alone Hu might take charge, or Wen they might begin.
okay, i know it’s childish, it’s just a bit of fun.
except for the poor buggers on the shit end of it.
in the interests of yourselves and all of the chinese people; be a mensch.