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international football ‘friendly’ matches are widely regarded as a waste of time and for me this was no exception.

sadly, in this case the outcome was a 2-0 defeat and since we barely threatened the spanish goal it was a bit demoralising as well, though no more than we deserved.

bright spots included david beckham’s performance coming on for the 2nd half, and to be fair shaun wright-phillips who played the full 90 minutes, which is often not the case and showed outstanding commitment in defence though sadly, given that it is his primary role, little attacking threat. in the latter department he was unfortunately in good company.

closest to glory, for england anyway, was frank lampard with a late header which almost woke-up pepe reina.

the home side meanwhile, though unspectacular, did show some pleasing passing skills and bagged a rather leisurely win.

nuff said. it’s not my job to go handing out praise to foreigners whether they deserve it or not.

vamanos amigos

it seems that, not surprisingly, plans were in hand to appoint scolari’s successor at chelsea, albeit on a temporary basis. i understand that for a speculated £2.5 million maximum, current russian national coach, guus hiddink, will come to stamford bridge till the end of the season.

a basic payment of £1.5m, about £100,000 a week plus two possible bonus payments each of £0.5m for winning the premiership and for winning the champions league would seem to be tolerable incentives, particularly whilst continuing as coach of russia. mmm? even i could rub along on that kind of dough! (more…)

so farewell to coach luiz felipe scolari
but cheer-up, you probably own a ferrari
and though your line of work is insecure
i bet you soon have another top sinecure

so just as the dull thud of tony adams biting the dust at portsmouth fc fades away, chelsea’s manager ‘big phil’ scolari also gets the chop! there must mave been a hell of a bang when he hit the deck.

well, premiership management (scuse i, ‘coaching’) is a highwire act which few can sustain over long periods and these two are not alone in falling off this season. (more…)

so farewell then portsmouth’s tony adams
you were admired by many sirs and madams
despite your few management achievements
we did enjoy your curious head movements

good luck, tony

andrew strauss – ‘as a group of batsmen we played very poorly’

surely what used to be known as a ‘statement of the bleeding obvious’

get a grip or your reign as england captain is likely to be even shorter than that of you unfortunate predecessor.

good grief, i don’t know where, or even whether to start on this. maybe any englishman should just go hide somewhere till the embarrassment dies down.

of course, according to recent narrative, the once mighty west indies, now whipping boys of the established cricketing nations have been cowering in their huts in anticipation of an inevitable thrashing by an england side, galvanised under a new leadership.

perhaps someone should have mentioned this to the windies themselves, in general and to their new strike weapon Jerome Taylor (5 for 11) in particular. (more…)

the mysterious disinterment of darryl hare. what’s all that about then?

personally i’d have given him ‘out’. fair dinkum!

whilst there is no abundance of top-class cricket umpires, australia certainly does not have a monopoly in that area … (go directly to jail back where you came from: do not pass go wind, or judgement: do not collect $500,000).

err that’s it.

toodle-pip cobbers

for those of you who have been visiting distant galaxies and haven’t heard about it, the football champions league final was played last night, in moscow. what’s that about then?

ok a couple of russian teams are allowed to be in the draw each year. i can see where you’re going here, ‘in the interests of fairness the venue for the final should rotate between the participating countries.’ so, in short then it was just their turn in the barrel.

all very fair and reasonable i’m sure. but what are the chances of a russian side ever being involved in a final? you’re saying “vanishingly small, surely”, and you’re right! for once

so what, do you imagine might be the ‘carbon footprint’ of this ludicrous exercise: the two teams, managers, trainers, medics, bag-carriers and other ill-assorted hangers-on; 50,000 fans and god only knows what else being hauled to moscow and back? all this just to play football match which could have been accommodated quite adequately at a neutral venue in the uk, ‘the shay’, for example, at a fraction of the cost. the mind boggles. surely this is economic and environmental lunacy?

having said that, i remain to be entirely convinced by the so-called evidence about global warming, and more specifically the contribution of burning fossil fuels to the ‘greenhouse effect’.

but what do i know? if i was in charge we’d all probably go to hell in a handcart.

actually, i think i’ll set-off now.

ta-ta suckers.

well i’m not gonna waste to much time on this, and that’s probably more than it deserves.

despite a reasonable start, due to a combination of bad weather and bad cricket this has finished as a lost opportunity.

although the opposition was the drink-of-water i suggested earlier the home side simply failed to take advantage and deliver the appropriate spanking. underperformance was noted in a number of areas, obvious examples being an uncharacteristically random effort by the usually sound sidebottom, who sprayed the ball almost anywhere, and a routinely dismal showing from pieterson who sprayed it nowhwere at all.

sadly, despite an outstanding performance with the bat, mighty michael vaughan failed to galvanise his troops in the way we have come to expect from him.

pieterson’s perfomance, by contrast was just what i had expected from him and if i were a selector i would have shown him the door long ago. in short: “lift your game, or leg it”.

over and out.