July 13, 2009

england battle to a glorious draw

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 3:00 pm

yes, in an extraordinary turnaround our heroic test cricketers defied the pundits’ direst prognostications to salvage a magnificent draw in the first ashes test at cardiff.

after another series of dismal performances by the top order batsmen who should have dug-in and batted out the final day, defeat seemed only a formality: a matter of time.

but just when all seemed lost, step-in paul collingwood, never a favorite of mine but here displaying a dogged unwillingness to get out; an object lesson from which many of the ‘higher order’ batsmen could learn a thing or two.

in addition to his all-important occupation of the crease england’s number 4 amassed 74 invaluable runs before succumbing to an uncharacteristically rash shot.

his departure, surely the death-knell for the beleaguered englishmen brought to the crease renowned non-batsman monty ‘hit-it?-i’ll-be-lucky-to-see-it’ panesar.

but, stand by your beds! a star is born. to the amazement of onlookers, with only the minimum of assistance from number ten james anderson, our match-saving secret weapon poked and prodded his team to the glorious draw that nobody, even your esteemed correspondent had dared to hope for.

(kevin pietersen look and learn! sure you’re brilliant, no question but why are you so often just crap? pull your finger out.)

hooray. (refer to my previous post for this thursdays team selection: nobody can defy gravity indefinitely πŸ˜‰

July 12, 2009

get a chance against the aussies — pour-it-on

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:44 am

while many commmentators have been pilloried for their criticism of kevin pietersen’s dismissal in the first innings at cardiff, i agree with them.

in fact, as i said last time “get a chance against the aussies you better pour-it-on”.

well we did (get a chance), and we didn’t (pour-it-on).

and the result of this failure is surely crystal-clear for all to see! the australians, by contrast, never miss an opportunity to exploit weakness, and therein lies the difference between us. these tiresome colonials show a streak of stickability a mile wide.

they aren’t just moderately interested in the idea of winning should the opportunity be kind enough to present itself: they go out onto the park with a determination to make it happen.

or perhaps that should be “bloody-well make it happen”. yes, i think it should.

and that’s why they’re walking all over us in this first test. realistically we probably need rain to come to our rescue. at the risk of sounding unpatriotic we don’t deserve it.

so lift your game. find some stickability and bat-out however much of three sessions you have to.

oh, and recall harmison for the second test. we badly need a somebody who can bowl plenty of overs and put a bit of fear into these upstarts.

kind regards, an englishman.

July 9, 2009

1st ashes test — day two

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 7:18 pm

anybody unconvinced by my previous post could do worse than taking a look at the state of play at the end of day two.

sure the england tail wagged and a decent first innings total was posted but the australians still find themselves with an impressive closing total of 249 for the loss of just one wicket.

as i said yesterday, if you get a chance against the aussies you better pour-it-on or they will most surely come back a bite your arse.

nighty-night cobbers. πŸ˜‰

kevin pietersen – another cock-up

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:19 am

although he survived a stick-on lbw let-off, pietersen made a creditable 69 in the first innings of the opening test of the much-trumpeted ashes test series at cardiff; no really, cardiff πŸ˜‰

so why, after such good fortune did he play that rotten sweep shot, committing so early that he invited the bowler to stuff him? the bowler duly obliged and our hero was caught off his helmet sweeping a delivery so wide of off stump that even my granny would have left it alone!

worse was to come in the post-match interview when the great man assured us that he had no regrets about the shot and would do it all over again, given the chance, which he no doubt will be, and no doubt will!

of course he’s our top weapon. i just wish he could learn little humility, but to be honest i’d settle for him just leaving those stupid shots alone, especially if he’s going to give everyone, in particular the bowler so much advance warning.

he has the natural talent to bat most teams of the park playing proper cricket shots.

why is this so important; after all he did make a decent score? yes of course he did. but look at it from the australians’ point of view. they got away with a headache whe they could have had a bloody nose.

enough already!

April 1, 2009

newcastle united – hail the conquering hero

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 11:15 am

so alan shearer is to manage newcastle united for the rest of the season. i wish him good luck.

although not surprised, i was sorry to see him go there as a player, and my expectations were fulfilled. i’ll spare you a re-run of the old chairman, fire and canteen gag and let it suffice to say they never won anything.

so what has the club done for shearer apart from employ him and pay him a mountain of wages? to be honest, probably not a lot.

after all, surely a player of his stature deserves to be in a winning team. so it’s a tribute and a mark of the man that he stayed the course there.

but on the pitch alan shearer was always ‘johnny on the spot’ and this latest move is no exception. it’s what people who know about such things like to refer to as a win-win situation.

if they’re relegated, well with only eight games to go it “would have been a miracle, man. ya did yah best. have a broon on me.”

but if they stay up “tha man’s a jeenyas. give ‘im a contract till the end of time. give ‘im the clewb man, he’s earned it! away man, give ‘im the freedom of the city. away (further) man, give ‘im the city!” (enough cod geordie drivel already)

to be honest i’m just looking forward to the tv coverage of his arrival as manager. it’ll make kevin keegan’s unveiling look like a mothers’ union meeting on a wet wednesday.

a chill wind of fear blows through stamford bridge. maybe. πŸ™‚

March 31, 2009

dodgy dossier – those mp’s expenses in full – unredacted surely

Filed under: just whinging,politics,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 11:07 am

i’m tickled pink to hear that the entire database of mp’s expenses is for sale to suitable bidders (sadly it seems only those with a few hundred thousand pounds to spend need apply).

i only wish i had the dough, i’d be first in the queue. in a fallow period for my scribe of choice the marvellous j k rowling (haw, haw, haw) such an epic work of fiction would make splendid bedtime reading.

this unscheduled attraction is presumably the work of some frisky civil servant with a death wish or a taste for institutional food or both. i must say i admire their pluck but i wouldn’t give much for their chances of evading the long arm of inspector knacker.

after all it would be surprising if there weren’t some heavyweight individuals on the list who whilst enjoying taking the piss would object to the process in reverse. they will doubtless bring to bear whatever means they can to get their personal choice morsels “redacted”.

let’s hope some red top has the bottle and the loot to bag the unexpurgated version while the offer is still on and at least bung us a few tasty highlights.

yum yum. πŸ™‚

March 28, 2009

english cricket — another excruciating performance

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 12:28 pm

so sorry to hear about kevin pietersen
i hear he’s at the end of his tether.
if he’s gonna let the windies beat us then
send him back to enjoy some english weather.

oh, and by the way

cricket captains are born, and not created
as many will have already discerned,
and the sooner that vaughan is re-instated
the better it will be for all concerned.

March 27, 2009

indian premier league — in south africa — bizarre

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 9:06 am

so the much-heralded indian premier league cricket is to held in south africa this year: well the idea has at least the merit of novelty!

but whatever your view of the ipl it’s a sad state of affairs that it has to be relocated lock, stock and barrel to another country because the indian authorities cannot guarantee the security of the players, presumably in light of the sickening recent attack on sri lankan cricketers in lahore.

even for the relocated events the organisers are said to be urgently sourcing some 80 bullet-proof vehicles.

england, the first alternative option due to it’s superior facilities, was it seems, ruled out on account of the unreliability of the spring weather.

but the decision having been made to go to south africa, the question remains, can the event be successful there? it’s surely impossible to replicate the fanatical support for cricket which exists in the indian sub-continent.

to expect local south african audiences to turn-out in sufficient numbers for some 59 matches in quick succession is indeed a tall order.

but the die is cast and i for one will shed no tears particularly on account of the highly-dubious betting elements who seem to be in close attendance to much of cricket these days.

March 26, 2009

more formula 1 grand prix farce

Filed under: just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 11:33 am

more farce in formula 1 racing as a new row erupts over car design before a single lap is driven in anger.

new regulations introduced for the 2009 season, broadly with the intention of making the racing more exciting have resulted in many design change requirements.

the fuss this time seems to be about the design of a component called the rear diffuser which can have a dramatic effect on downforce, and therefore speed of the three cars concerned. i’ll spare you further details and just take the piss out of the chaos.

by the way, courtesy of another design change this time at the pointed end, look out for a shower of carbon fibre as new, full-width front wings are ripped off in contested tight turns, especially the first corner.

enjoy the new season. πŸ™‚

March 24, 2009

new grand prix season begins sunday

Filed under: doggerel,just whinging,sport — anne thrope (miss) @ 7:07 pm

the new f1 season it’s got to be said
is already looking a bit of a shed!
with the changes in scoring already reversed
and cash drying up, the whole issue looks cursed.
and tell me the difference just while you’re there
between a short-handled mop and a billionaire.

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