beware of greeks negotiating in bad faith with the charming angela and nicholas? surely not?
(can’t be bothered to crowbar-in olive branches or wooden horses, sozz) anyway here’s those proposed referendum options in full:-
1. bail out
2. bale out
wake me when it’s over 
okay, let me riddle you a riddle.
how many ill-advised trips does it take to get from imbruglia to imbroglio?
wotjamean any clues? oh alright then
imbruglia: an antipodean popette/looker
imbroglio: a confused or perplexing political or interpersonal situation
obviously there’s no correct answer (yet) but give yourself a point if you said anywhere between 18 and 40.
distressing reports are emerging from news international in london where a tearful rebekah (sic) brooks addressed the gathered, should that be gobsmacked news of the world staff to announce, not her resignation, but their’s.
that’s all folks. david brent has left the building.
what’s not to like about emily maitlis?
despite appearing almost weightless,
she very rarely fails to please
especially when she sits at 45 degrees.
and so to china where doubtless for the approval of uk and international audiences, prime minister david cameron raised the twin perennial bugbears, democracy and human rights during his trade visit to beijing, earlier today.
i understand that, consistent with the prc’s stock response whenever these matters are raised, the pm was given no assurances by either the chinese president or premier that any such reforms are under consideration, let alone Hu might take charge, or Wen they might begin.
okay, i know it’s childish, it’s just a bit of fun.
except for the poor buggers on the shit end of it.
in the interests of yourselves and all of the chinese people; be a mensch.
since i am offended by embroidered or exaggerated resumes i shall keep mine short and factual which i trust the reader will appreciate.
1983: born in the wagon of a travellin show.
i was an unremarkable child. though i’m told i did unnerve the midwife slightly. the story goes that whilst she was preparing to smack my arse i emerged reciting “pi = 3.14159265″.
apparently i similarly irritated my father who when i was just 9 days old, foolishly asked me what i would like for breakfast to which i replied “3.14159265 pies”. he never spoke to me after that.
happily, life took a turn for the better when (more…)
yes, just when you thought you were safe from plucky new entrants to the labour leadership race, word reaches me that a previously unknown brother has thrown his hat into the ring.
dark-horse steve millerband announces his audacious campaign, catchily straplined “i’m a joker, i’m a smoker, i’m a midnight toker” and looks likely to eclipse the lack-lustre efforts of his warring siblings in short order.
who’d o’ thought it?
so, in an amazing, last minute turn-up, diane abbott makes the list of labour-leadership candidates by the skin of her teeth.
the shy, retiring late-night political pundite having earlier received the backing of stand-in leader harriet harperson garnered more vital votes previously pledged to her only left-leaning opponent when he withdrew from the race.
charmingly, she also received the vote of front-running opponent david miliband, of the well-known duo ‘edband’. condescending? lui? he might as well have stabbed her in the eye with a fork.
of course the chances of an abbott victory are vanishingly small but her presence at the debates over the next three months (god help us) might at least introduce the few remaining blairites to some of the basics of socialism. or not 
at least she’ll add a touch of much-needed colour (none intended obv) to this otherwise bland line-up of westminster careerists and maybe give us a giggle or two along the way at their expense.
and in the event of her (certain) failure she has at least the comfort of her career as a concert pianist to fall back on.
middle ‘c’ anyone?
now here’s rum thing. without wanting to put the wind up you so close to bedtime.
over breakfast, last monday, right out of nowhere i said to the bemusement of the present mrs rant:-
‘that laws geezer; he’s done something bad.’
‘who she said? what are you talking about?’
undeterred by her characteristic failure of comprehension i explained that i was referring to david laws, newly appointed chief sec to the treasury.
now as to the origin of this information or how i had garnered it i had, and still have no clue, but so it came to pass, which makes it all-the-more unnerving. swipe me!
still, since we’re on the subject i might as well give you the benefit of my wisdom on recent revelations, be they never so prosaic.
first, mr laws seems to have been well-front when brains were being dished out.
okay, so he bats for the other side: not my cup of tea but hardly a hanging offence in the 21st century.
but then his problems, if we are to believe everything he says, probably date back to the 20th century; not that it makes much difference.
anyway, despite the brevity of his tenure in office the politics junkies among us have been left in no doubt as to his brilliance and his multi-millionaireness. nothing wrong with that.
so let’s look at the details here, in so far as we seem to have them.
for the purpose of concealing his gay relationship he claimed expenses presumably comparable to those of a person renting a room in another’s home when had he been open about his relationship he would have been able to claim perhaps double the amount in question.
on the one hand this suggests a certain persisisting perversity in the rules surrounding mps’ expenses claims.
but it also suggests, at least to me, that a mind as sharp as mr laws should have seen this coming and realised that the wise choice would have been to simply claim nothing.
in the words of the prophet: ‘they can’t touch you for it!’
but you don’t get to be a multi-millionare at his age without a preference to bag a quid here-and-there when you get the chance.
in summary: chances of:-
1. concealing your sexual preferences and leading any kind of relaxed lifestyle … tricky.
2. doing the above as a high-profile member of the cabinet … in prurient 21st century britain … next to impossible.
3. doing the above having broken the rules on mps’ expenses … vanishingly small.
at this moment david laws displays many of the characteristics of peter mandelson so he’s a long way from being politically dead-and-buried and must be grateful for the gracious words of his prime minister and party leader.
though what they must have said in private about his crass screw-up less than three weeks into the coalition he had such a prominent role in crafting one can only imagine.
still expect him back before to long; the coalition can ill afford to do without him.
let’s hope that, unlike mandelson, he doesn’t screw-up a second time. anyhow, if he does i’ll at least make the effort to let you know beforehand
cheery bye soothsayers.