rentarant.com » doggerel

emily maitlis

anne thrope (miss) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 17:04:04 +0000

newsnight’s maitlis; what a poppet,
but what’s that dress sense all about? just stop it!

jo coburn – bbc news

anne thrope (miss) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 02:36:40 +0000

though oft in cold and winter gloom her
scripts suggest a sense of humour.
but the trick which seems to most enamour her
is pointing her left shoulder towards the camera.

theresa may

anne thrope (miss) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 01:29:28 +0000

theresa may, mp god bless her
is something of a random dresser

emily maitlis — newsnight

anne thrope (miss) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 01:20:06 +0000

what’s not to like about emily maitlis?
despite appearing almost weightless,
she very rarely fails to please
especially when she sits at 45 degrees.

football simulation — latest

anne thrope (miss) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 11:59:25 +0000

the striker cuts through our defence,
what’s happened to their common-sense.
if only we had played a sweeper
it’s goodnight if he beats the keeper

who’s number one, but now looks bigger,
close-up, a bloody scary figure.
“to hell with getting smacked again,
i’ll take a dive and get a ‘pen’.”

he trails a leg, he waves a bit,
then falls down like a sack of shit.
see how he writhes, and looks distressed,
how sad! the ref is unimpressed.

just waves him up, and gives a warning.
(the linesman can’t stop himself yawning)
and still he’s asking for the ‘pen’
“i’ll likely never walk again!”

and though he pleads for the award,
the arbiter is getting bored.

oh no, a card is coming out,
he’s gob-smacked! what’s all that about?
the stand arises in ovation,
he’s been sent off for simulation.

not before time muppet. and don’t come back neither.

more blank verse

anne thrope (miss) — Mon, 18 May 2009 11:09:33 +0000

amazingly sir vanquished blank,
who many think should walk the plank
remains as captain of the bank,
although whilst in his charge it sank.

what fortune, he can be on hand
to see it safely back to land.
another twelve months seems like ages,
but no doubt he’ll enjoy the wages.

order, order … i’ll have three of what you’re havin’

anne thrope (miss) — Mon, 18 May 2009 10:00:40 +0000

the mystery of speaker martin,
the unwillingness of his departin’.
for those who do not understand
is the small matter of £100,000.

so farewell soon, speaker martin

anne thrope (miss) — Mon, 18 May 2009 09:22:35 +0000

so farewell soon, speaker martin,
a laughing stock since day of startin’.
the spectacle was hard to bear,
when he was dragged into the chair.

(as quickly as his feet could carry him)
despite his long hours in the gym.

and though we wanted him to go he
just gave some lip to kate hoey.

(so he’s not all bad then)

farewell poet snoreate

anne thrope (miss) — Sat, 02 May 2009 00:48:19 +0000

if only he had cheered us up,
to save us taking pills and potions.
perhaps he’ll feel he let us down,
and rue just going through the motions.

timeless huh? ok, so it’s unreasonable to expect him to compete with me.

i think it was the great clint eastwood who once said “a man’s gotta know his limitations.”

now that’s real poetry — i’m choking-up just reading it.

quick, slow; slow, slow, slow, slow

anne thrope (miss) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:11:46 +0000

come on, assistant commissioner slow,
it’s surely time for you to go.
your latest gaffe is just so witless
it must scare al qaeda shitless.

you gave the snappers all a peak yet
your document was headed secret.

in short, you had the chance to sparkle
but fetched-up with a right debacle.
instead of bob you look like dick
so start the car and get out quick.

limousine surely?