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football simulation — latest

anne thrope (miss) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 11:59:25 +0000

the striker cuts through our defence,
what’s happened to their common-sense.
if only we had played a sweeper
it’s goodnight if he beats the keeper

who’s number one, but now looks bigger,
close-up, a bloody scary figure.
“to hell with getting smacked again,
i’ll take a dive and get a ‘pen’.”

he trails a leg, he waves a bit,
then falls down like a sack of shit.
see how he writhes, and looks distressed,
how sad! the ref is unimpressed.

just waves him up, and gives a warning.
(the linesman can’t stop himself yawning)
and still he’s asking for the ‘pen’
“i’ll likely never walk again!”

and though he pleads for the award,
the arbiter is getting bored.

oh no, a card is coming out,
he’s gob-smacked! what’s all that about?
the stand arises in ovation,
he’s been sent off for simulation.

not before time muppet. and don’t come back neither.

more blank verse

anne thrope (miss) — Mon, 18 May 2009 11:09:33 +0000

amazingly sir vanquished blank,
who many think should walk the plank
remains as captain of the bank,
although whilst in his charge it sank.

what fortune, he can be on hand
to see it safely back to land.
another twelve months seems like ages,
but no doubt he’ll enjoy the wages.

order, order … i’ll have three of what you’re havin’

anne thrope (miss) — Mon, 18 May 2009 10:00:40 +0000

the mystery of speaker martin,
the unwillingness of his departin’.
for those who do not understand
is the small matter of £100,000.

so farewell soon, speaker martin

anne thrope (miss) — Mon, 18 May 2009 09:22:35 +0000

so farewell soon, speaker martin,
a laughing stock since day of startin’.
the spectacle was hard to bear,
when he was dragged into the chair.

(as quickly as his feet could carry him)
despite his long hours in the gym.

and though we wanted him to go he
just gave some lip to kate hoey.

(so he’s not all bad then)

farewell poet snoreate

anne thrope (miss) — Sat, 02 May 2009 00:48:19 +0000

if only he had cheered us up,
to save us taking pills and potions.
perhaps he’ll feel he let us down,
and rue just going through the motions.

timeless huh? ok, so it’s unreasonable to expect him to compete with me.

i think it was the great clint eastwood who once said “a man’s gotta know his limitations.”

now that’s real poetry — i’m choking-up just reading it.

quick, slow; slow, slow, slow, slow

anne thrope (miss) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:11:46 +0000

come on, assistant commissioner slow,
it’s surely time for you to go.
your latest gaffe is just so witless
it must scare al qaeda shitless.

you gave the snappers all a peak yet
your document was headed secret.

in short, you had the chance to sparkle
but fetched-up with a right debacle.
instead of bob you look like dick
so start the car and get out quick.

limousine surely?

new grand prix season begins sunday

anne thrope (miss) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:07:49 +0000

the new f1 season it’s got to be said
is already looking a bit of a shed!
with the changes in scoring already reversed
and cash drying up, the whole issue looks cursed.
and tell me the difference just while you’re there
between a short-handled mop and a billionaire.

tony mcnulty — more mp expenses sleaze

anne thrope (miss) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:55:17 +0000

i wanted a word about tony mcnulty
whose expenses are looking increasingly faulty.
a couple on over £300,000 a year?
can probably make ends meet, but oh dear,
he’s another mp with his snout in the trough,
you’re a greedy embarrassment, just bugger-off!

do it now.

lord mandelson shrugs-off creme anglaise attack

anne thrope (miss) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:01:04 +0000

when mandelson, once by protection enclustered,
was struck on the dial by a salvo of custard.
the great man, far-sightedly wearing a scarf
had reduced the potential for damage by half.
and thus he remained of sang froid and unflustered.

the chance of attacking a minister’s slender
if police are on hand to repel the offender
but since mandy’s minders have long been forgot
our hero was there; his detectives were not
so she wanged him the custard and strolled off the plot.

yes, of course he recoiled as the miscreant lunged
but returned very soon with the custard expunged.

and his sharply-cut suit, in the finest of worsted
had repelled almost all of the activist’s custard.

and looking composed having wiped his essentials
he jokingly burnished his own green credentials.

the chucker escaped with apparent impunity
but doesn’t hold undiplomatic immunity.
so let’s hope that soon she is brought into custody
where doubtless she’ll claim the missile was just custardy.

but what if some weapon of mass destruction had
been furtively mixed with this culinary emulsion.
though seemingly just a green-tinted comestible
it’s damaging effects might have been inestimable.

or not

itv — not making the grade

anne thrope (miss) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:48:10 +0000

poor itv, it’s on the rack.
the wall is firmly to it’s back.
for so long it was in the black
but these days it ain’t making jack.

curtailing winners, like the bill
just leaves it with more hours to fill.
soon viewers could be close to nil,
just one-or-two old dears in rhyl.

thought that was bad? it’s getting worse.
i’m gonna do another verse.

no sign of any blue sky thinking
with balance sheet and punters shrinking.
just to exacerbate the trough
the advertisers buggered-off.

quite simply for the last decade
it’s programmes haven’t made the grade.

see what i did there? grade .. ha-ha.

ceegar son?