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well, swipe me, that’s one out of the blue!

could somerrdy point me tooow the bar twenty20 wages?

ayythankyoo.

yes, always good value for money, peter, ‘scuse i, lord mandelson has done it again with the long-promised part-privatation of the royal mail.

in the teeth of bitter opposition from the rump of labour mps who still remember what socialism means our hero has assured us for months that the sell-off was a dead-cert.

well swipe me. out of the blue, the slippery little spinner now advises us that the essential sale is now off as he has found it impossible to negotiate a satisfactory price.

so, nothing to do with trying to appease the parliamentary labour party and keep the great leader in number 10 a bit longer then.

well obviously not!

bye for now pundits.

esther rantzen mp?

give us a break! don’t you think it’s bad enough already?

martin bell was alright, if you like that sort of thing, but really a bit of a stunt.

esther rantzen would be a stunt too far.

kindest regards,

cyril fletcher

ever the moderniser, our revered and trusted leader has shown us the pathway out of the darkness, into the light, imperiously casting aside the hackneyed, variously ascribed mantra “never apologise, never explain” in favour of the timeless self-penned “never apologise, never apologise”.

a stroke of genius, it must be said, in particular by the 100 plus labour mp s who are now more certainly than ever, less than twelve grubbily-inflated pay packets away from a well-deserved p45.

if i were a foul-mouthed australian my advice to brown would be “pull out, digger, the dogs are pissing on your swag”.

but i’m not, so i apologise. but i’m not sorry.

i’m indebted to mr brian teasmaid of cleethorpes who last week sent me a photograph of former cabinet minister john prescott dressed as the goodyear blimp.

sadly, due to copyright restrictions i am unable to publish the snap but don’t worry, he just looked his normal self.

toodle pip gourmets.

and that latest, according to former rbs group chairman tom mckillop is that myners, the goverment minister in charge of the debacle, despite his evidence to the contrary at the commons select committee, was indeed told the size of goodwin’s pension pot, and of the effect of his being given early retirement instead of the more appropriate summary firing.

swipe me, how shocking!

well no bloody deal obviously!

yesterday’s uk government bonds sale was a bit of a flop: with £1.75bn of 40-year bonds on offer, investors only bid for £1.63bn, a shortfall of £120m in take-up.

this is an alarming sign. with the uk government along with others all around the world needing to raise vast capital sums to plug projected borrowing requirements competition for funds is likely to be fierce.

and whilst admittedly these are among the longest-dated gilts on offer in the uk and therefore carry more risk than average, the temptation to extrapolate this reaction, to the market for shorter dated issues in due course if conditions do not improve cannot be ruled out.

if you’re afraid of this kind of thing, be afraid: be quite afraid.

back in the day i used to be a fan of your smooth urbanity and maverick style.

but particularly, as a former secretary of state for health to make a mint from the misery and death caused by cigarettes is deeply disgusting.

you should be ashamed of yourself.

note to david cameron and his squeaking friend:

although it might seem like inspired leadership to bolster your already-winning squad with a big beast from the past, beware.

if he’s as big a beast as this he’s just as likely to roll over you and make you look rather foolish.

ta-ta