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May 30, 2010

out — laws

Filed under: just whinging,politics,sap of the month — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:37 am

now here’s rum thing. without wanting to put the wind up you so close to bedtime.

over breakfast, last monday, right out of nowhere i said to the bemusement of the present mrs rant:-

‘that laws geezer; he’s done something bad.’

‘who she said? what are you talking about?’

undeterred by her characteristic failure of comprehension i explained that i was referring to david laws, newly appointed chief sec to the treasury.

now as to the origin of this information or how i had garnered it i had, and still have no clue, but so it came to pass, which makes it all-the-more unnerving. swipe me!

still, since we’re on the subject i might as well give you the benefit of my wisdom on recent revelations, be they never so prosaic.

first, mr laws seems to have been well-front when brains were being dished out.

okay, so he bats for the other side: not my cup of tea but hardly a hanging offence in the 21st century.

but then his problems, if we are to believe everything he says, probably date back to the 20th century; not that it makes much difference.

anyway, despite the brevity of his tenure in office the politics junkies among us have been left in no doubt as to his brilliance and his multi-millionaireness. nothing wrong with that.

so let’s look at the details here, in so far as we seem to have them.

for the purpose of concealing his gay relationship he claimed expenses presumably comparable to those of a person renting a room in another’s home when had he been open about his relationship he would have been able to claim perhaps double the amount in question.

on the one hand this suggests a certain persisisting perversity in the rules surrounding mps’ expenses claims.

but it also suggests, at least to me, that a mind as sharp as mr laws should have seen this coming and realised that the wise choice would have been to simply claim nothing.

in the words of the prophet: ‘they can’t touch you for it!’

but you don’t get to be a multi-millionare at his age without a preference to bag a quid here-and-there when you get the chance.

in summary: chances of:-

1. concealing your sexual preferences and leading any kind of relaxed lifestyle … tricky.

2. doing the above as a high-profile member of the cabinet … in prurient 21st century britain … next to impossible.

3. doing the above having broken the rules on mps’ expenses … vanishingly small.

at this moment david laws displays many of the characteristics of peter mandelson so he’s a long way from being politically dead-and-buried and must be grateful for the gracious words of his prime minister and party leader.

though what they must have said in private about his crass screw-up less than three weeks into the coalition he had such a prominent role in crafting one can only imagine.

still expect him back before to long; the coalition can ill afford to do without him.

let’s hope that, unlike mandelson, he doesn’t screw-up a second time. anyhow, if he does i’ll at least make the effort to let you know beforehand πŸ˜‰

cheery bye soothsayers.

May 25, 2010

financially incontinent fergie

Filed under: just whinging,sap of the month,the bleedin' obvious — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:12 am

hearing sarah ferguson described this evening as ‘financially incontinent’ made me laugh. i couldn’t put it better whilst remaining polite if i tried.

other gems emerging today include suggestions that despite owing Β£100,000’s to all and sundry on both sides of the atlantic this deluded simpleton retains a staff of twelve!

i hope they make sure to get their no doubt trivial stipends in cash for their own sake.

on a lighter note news attributed to insiders suggests that her state-of-mind is fragile: no shit sherlock!

let’s hope she doesn’t risk further psychological damage by trying to get a handle on what happens to other people who spend money they haven’t got while carelessly lacking the opportunity to hawk access to a minor royal.

pass me a bucket, this one’s overflowing.

May 24, 2010

sarah ferguson – a national embarrassment or a horses arse?

Filed under: just whinging,politics,sap of the month — anne thrope (miss) @ 3:01 am

have you ever had one of those times when two things merge into one so much that you can’t tell them apart?

as you can see i had one today when i read the latest about this pathetic, deluded mess; a legend in her own kitchen; where she has probably never been.

scummy, self-serving behaviour of this kind by morons who have no understanding of when they’re well-off has led to monarchies, and their heads, being removed in the not-too-distant past.

not that i’m suggesting that this brain-donor is part of the monarchy but there’s no doubt in my mind that shit rubs off.

sadly, even the deepest public opprobrium is unlikely to deter, or even penetrate the elephant hide of this of a grasping creature which over the last two decades has only further-stained the already tarnished reputation of britain’s royal family.

no offence intended obviously. bring on the tumbrils.

field of labour leadership candidates broadens; a bit more

Filed under: just whinging — anne thrope (miss) @ 1:52 am

without apologies for absence (if you’re expecting that you’re in the wrong place. get over it muppet) i feel it my duty to comment on the latest bout of giddy excitement sweeping the country as the now extended field of entrants for the labour leadership stakes is transformed from two male, middle-aged, middle-class new-labour insiders to a jaw-dropping four male, middle-aged, middle-class new-labour insiders.

the much-trailed announcements of second-tranche candidates ed balls and andy burnham joining the fun heightened the tension to almost coma-pitch. to be fair they serve also to dilute the contest’s hitherto concentrated milibandness.

what a relief however when, out of the blue, late-night tv pundit and unapologetic piano forte virtuoso diane abbott stepped from the shadows to throw the whole predictable procession to ed miliband’s long-awaited succession into turmoil.

(just kidding: abbott has only two chances in the race; slim or none. and like the man said; slim just left town πŸ˜‰

which in reality leaves us waiting breathlessly for a full four months till ‘ensign miliband’ is given ‘the con’.

‘mr (insert random shadow cabinet minister’s name) plot a course for a ball-achingly long stint in opposition.’

aye aye captain.

May 18, 2010

flipper, sorry, speaker bercow

Filed under: just whinging,politics — anne thrope (miss) @ 2:06 pm

like me, you may have wondered how the hell smug flipper bercow got elected speaker of the house of commons in the first place? as an antidote to the abuse of parliamentary ‘expenses’? with his track record? if i didn’t laugh i’d weep!

more to the point, in the tradition of ‘dubbya’, how can he possibly be re-elected? we’ll know soon.

ps: okay, so he was. god help us. i think i’m losing the will to live.

May 15, 2010

field of labour leadership candidates broadens

Filed under: brevity,just whinging,politics — anne thrope (miss) @ 9:00 pm

so as the second miliband brother enters the race, the field of labour leadership candidates broadens; to two.

is it me or is there a whiff of star trek about these boys? whatever, in the spirit of x factor i’m calling them ‘edband’.

(not to be confused with influential 1970s electronic music duo Tonto’s Expanding Head Band … it’s easily done πŸ˜‰

clarke back in government

Filed under: just whinging,politics,sap of the month — anne thrope (miss) @ 8:45 pm

quite a surprise to see fatty clarke back in office after all these years.

as it happens i used to be one of his biggest fans till he joined the repellant tobacco industry. nobody with his track record and range of options could be hard-up enough to justify that on the grounds of needing the cash.

anyhow there he is again, back in the pound seats.

a word of advice clarky: suit and hush puppies was never great but this latest get-up takes the cake.

knee breeches, silk stockings and a bib? on a fat, 70 year old geezer? in 2010? get a grip man you look like a reject from an amateur gilbert and sullivan production.

none intended obviously and much luck in the job; you’ll need it. not that it will affect you either way.

May 14, 2010

labour leadership race runner and rider

Filed under: just whinging — anne thrope (miss) @ 9:23 am

yes, with the body of the dear departed leader still warm, the usual suspect gavin millipede has already shown his hand … err foot … whatever.

is leadership contender his middle name? he certainly seems to be first on the plot whenever the subject of succession rears it’s ugly head. anyway he’s surged to the front already: admittedly in a field of one. hasn’t he heard that the favorite never wins? probably. is it his fault if he’s the favourite? probably not.

so who’s going to give him a run for his money? brother ed … likely; ed balls … ready and waiting; andy burnham … a good punt; harriet harperson … probably; alan johnson … apparently not; alistair darling … surely not; jon cruddas … no hope; yvette cooper … don’t be silly; jack straw … refused at the first; peter mandelson … haaw-haaw-haaw.

does the gp give a stuff? almost certainly not. most have had more than enough of elections to last them a while.

but for political junkies this is a choice morsel to chew on whilst awaiting the first major government ruck, which, let’s be honest, can’t be that far away.

May 12, 2010

hot news — pm and deputy’s nickname

Filed under: brevity,politics,the bleedin' obvious — anne thrope (miss) @ 7:34 pm

okay, bagsy be the first to name our new dynamic duo
caminick

okay so there’s a hint of lingerie about it. give us a break! there’s only so much you can do here. i mean

cleggeron? … snappy eh! clemeron? cagg? … even nicer! davnick? camleg?
not improving are they?

i’m sticking with ‘caminick’ and taking the blame, erm i mean credit. unless of course you know better. πŸ™

fun in the garden at number ten

Filed under: just whinging,politics — anne thrope (miss) @ 7:07 pm

mutual back-patting and knockabout fun were the order of the day in the garden behind ten downing street today. (shame nobody brought a ball, we could have had a kick-around)

those boys, eh. they are a riot. okay so nick was nick, while call me dave was david. but let’s not nick-pick. whatever πŸ˜‰

after all, this al fresco bonhommie can’t last forever, can it?

come to think of it, judging by the facial expression and grudging response of vince cable when asked later whether he was looking forward to working with call me george osborne, there’ll probably be tears before bedtime.

stand by for water pistols at dawn.

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